We’ll Be Back!
Hi, and Happy New Year! Just wanted to quickly touch base with you all and let you know that Watch This Instead will be going on hiatus for a while. Why? Why would do such an awful, awful thing? It’s simple really. We ran out of banked episodes. Yeah, that’s right. Our episodes aren’t recorded the night before they’re due. We like to have two or three episodes set aside for those rare occasions where the three of us (Jon, Jacob and I) can’t meet to record an episode. Fortunately (and unfortunately), we’ve all been super busy over the last month or so that we’ve sort of blown through all our remaining episodes and now need some time to recover.
So…what the hell are you going to do while we get our shit together? That’s a damn good question! Next Tuesday, we’ll be releasing a brand new never-before-heard episode from our new podcast show “How to Love a Wo(man)”. What the hell is that? Here’s a little blurb for you to feast on:
How to Love a Wo(man) is a relationship centric comedy podcast that pushes the boundaries of race and gender roles as it discusses the modern dating scene. ACCLAIMED hosts Gustave, J. Ethan, and Jonathan bring in a feminine newcomer, Alex, to balance out their testosterone based arguments.
Sex, love, and toil - anything and everything will be discussed. From raunchy Facebook posts to user submitted carnal debauchery to true love and romance, How to Love a Wo(man) reminds us all of our human condition - we were created to love another, whether we like it or not.
So, if you enjoyed listening to us rip apart movies, then you’re going to LOVE listening to us talk about love, lost and unicorns. Yes, unicorns. They are foul beast that must be destroyed! Destroyed I tell you! DESTROYED!!!
Anyway, join us next Tuesday for the premiere of “How to Love a Wo(man)”. As always, please continue to rate us on iTunes (it helps us A LOT) and submit those movie suggestions. 2013 is already shaping up to be one hell of a year.
The movie Demolition Man features a lot of big name actors: Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and Sandra bullock to name of a few. However, for me, the most memorable character goes to Edgar Friendly, played by Denis Leary.
Not only is Denis’s character hilarious in his own right because of the name, since Mr. Friendly is, in fact, a terrorist and murderer, but he is also an insane futuristic version of Robin Hood. He lives in the sewers under the utopic city of San Angeles waiting to cause chaos and disorder - returning freedom to the people. Not just any freedom though, but good ol’ American freedom. This is what I imagine Denis Leary’s goal is in real life too.
The clip featured above is one of my favorite rants ever captured in a film. If this doesn’t convince you to watch this movie, then nothing will.
There’s only one movie I can stand Sandra Bullock in and it’s the 1993 blockbuster smash hit Demolition Man. Sandra plays a prude, bumbling, innocuous, if not annoying lead role in this film, but it’s exactly what I would imagine her to be like in real life. So, it works.
Other than that, I really have nothing negative to say about this movie - AT ALL. It features amazing one liners, superb action scenes, a portrayal of a brilliant dystopia (so much Taco Bell), virtual sex, stun batons, crocheting, and Denis Leary. This movie is on my list of all-time favorite films, and I can’t wait to talk about it.
So, watch the trailer, then the movie, and join us soon to hear us talk about it.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This week’s movie review of Trapped In Paradise starring Nicholas Cage is now ready to be loved by you. Just in case you were wondering, the town of Paradise, Pennsylvania is a real place, and here are some fun facts about it.
- The town was settled originally by David and Mary Fierre, French Huguenots, after seeking refuge in the new world due to a crack down on protestants around the year 1712.
- Paradise, a town of only 1,100 people sees an inordinate amount of tourists because of it’s odd name, a similar Amish town called “intercourse” experiences the same phenomenon but at more regular intervals - to the chagrin of most of the local population.
- Though the town paradise was the setting for the movie, however, most of the scenes were filmed in Canada because it’s way cheaper to do anything there, eh.
- According to the Criminal Offender data, there are currently 4 listed sex offenders in Paradise, Pennsylvania. This equates to .4% of the population, which is much higher than normal.
That’s it, there is really nothing else to report. Enjoy!
Just because Trapped in Paradise is technically a Christmas movie doesn’t mean that Nicholas Cage does not get all “cray cray” at the drop of a hat.
Watch this clip and you’ll understand why we love reviewing any movie that this guy is in. Seriously, can you get more insane than that? He typifies going postal by just using his eyeballs.
“I know how your mind works. You know exactly what you’re doin’. And the whole time, you stand there, with this “who me” expression on Your FACE!”
Watch the clip, the movie, open some presents, and join us on Monday.
This time of year is about giving, so for this week’s episode we wanted to feature a proper holiday movie that was all about bells, happiness and all that shit. Well, at least that is what we were going to do originally, but then we got drunk and ended up choosing the 1994 robbery movie featuring Nicolas cage titled “Trapped in Paradise”.
Yes, this film has underlying “holiday” themes, but ultimately it is about greed, stealing and the depravity of men - at least if you take it in that light.
Luckily for us, Nicolas Cage is the most entertaining person in the world and can carry an entire movie on the premise that he “might” just wig out and kill someone.
If that is not enough to convince you, Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz round out the cast with their savvy SNL veteran comedic style.
It’s a good film - well “good” for this podcast.
So, sip on some eggnog, then join us on Monday. Not like you have anything better to do, right?
It’s controversial, it’s sexy, it makes no sense…it’s Showgirls. So, did you watch the movie yet? Well, you should! Why? I’ll tell you:
- You get to watch one of your favorite childhood stars get naked and pout so much that you fear that her lips will fall off – seriously, they could.
- You’ll understand why this movie made over 100 million dollars once it was released on tape – lots of alone time.
- You’ll see the only film ever made where Gina Gershon is the best actor.
- I’m running out of things to say because this movie is that bad.
- I guess that’s another reason to see it.
- It’s like going to a freak show.
- Go to the freak show.
Do you have a movie that you think we should discuss? Let us know on our Watch This Instead Facebook page!
(This is not safe for work, unless your work allows you to watch clips with boobs in it.)
So, before I dive into what this Friday’s teaser is about, I want to draw a likeness for you.
Black Swan, the critically acclaimed and fabulously shot film, and Showgirls, the critically spurned and horribly acted film, are actually quite similar. They feature a female dancer, as the lead, trying to make it in a seamy and competitive dance world.
So, why was Showgirls so bad? I am sure the acting had a lot to do with it, and the screen writing. But, what if Showgirls was presented in the same light as Black Swan?
Could Showgirls have been one of those movies deemed “too good” for this podcast? This Friday teaser explores that, in a “not-safe-for-work kind of way”, by mashing up the trailer for Black Swan with that of Showgirls.
The result? Hilarity.
The verdict? Don’t watch this at work.
So, watch the film, and join us on Monday when we review all the details…ALL the details.
Probably the most controversial movie to come out in the late 90s was Showgirls. It featured one of the most innocent child stars, Elizabeth Berkley from Saved by the Bell, getting naked on camera at every turn. It was rife with unwanted sex, drugs, and dancing. However, unlike other movies that use sexuality to add poignancy, this movie just threw it in there haphazardly like you would some parsley flakes onto spaghetti sauce.
The movie wants to ask you, “How far would you go for fame?” But, how many people would realistically answer this question with, “I would go so far as to hitchhike, get robbed, get a happenstance job as a showgirl and then get raped.”?
The answer? NO ONE.
However, if you answered yes, then you’ll certainly understand the plight of the main character Nomi.
If you answered no (like the rest of us), you can just enjoy this movie for what it is…horrible.
So, watch the film and join us on Monday when we talk about it. Oh, and we won’t shy away from the gory details.
Arguably, the best part about Mortal Kombat was the mystery surrounding the game. There were secret characters, secret moves, enemies that lurked in the trees or came up from the ground. Those of you who can answer the following questions will find this week’s episode glorious. Those of you who can not, need to play some damn video games, and watch some damn movies.
- What Mortal Kombat character could spit acid, and had an alternative version that was red called Ermac?
- A, B, A, C, A, B, B was the code for what on the Super Nintendo version of Mortal Kombat 1?
- What sexy secret green character used to say “I will meet you in Goro’s Lair” as a hint to how to find her?
- Which character said “TOASTY!?”
- Noob Saibot was a combination of two names – what were the names and what did they do?
- Aside from Fatalities, what were the other ending moves in Mortal Kombat 2?
Answer these questions, and enjoy this week’s podcast episode!
Do you have a movie that you think we should discuss? Let us know on our Watch This Instead Facebook page!
