The topic of our next movie is based on a successful novel by one of the greatest writers of our time, Michael Crichton.
Dear Mr. Crichton, your book was amazing, and should never have been associated with this film. I am so sorry it had to be this way. In retrospect, I would like to rename this move to “The Hidden Temple of the Diamond-Shitting Apes” instead of Congo.
Congo is an enigma. There is so much wrong with it, yet it is so damn amazing. This movie is a little like seeing a broke ass hooker stumbling down the side of a dimly lit street after a night of “work”. You don’t want to look at it. Hell! You are afraid to look at, but you can NOT help it. There is something alluring, dare I say attractive, about it.
This movie takes the action elements of Indiana Jones, sprinkles in a little primatology, adds a whole bunch of idiots in gorilla costumes, throws them all in a war-torn jungle with weapons provided by a mysterious communications company and just lets it all go. It’s like watching your food mix in a blender, except it’s not food, it’s body parts and diamonds.
This movie is like body parts and diamonds blended together…
How could we not make an episode about this? How could we not watch this movie? And finally, how could you not listen to us laugh and make fun of this movie?
Oh, that’s right. You are going to.